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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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| #1 artwalk09
#2 hkiff09
#3 me and my ipod are a perfect couple
#4 smell it: lykke li, mgmt, rachael yamagata, vampire weekend, little joy...
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| a bit on melancholy and (the charm of) depression
but what is melancholy? after all, melancholy is no emotions. every time you emotionally respond to events, the feelings are consequent on the values you hold for the world of your understanding (constituted of mostly fundamental common values). you weep for deaths of those you treasure, or get infuriated by events against your principle. then let's recall when do you feel melancholic. the time you lose your thought gazing at the dancing light on the water or the flying smoke off a cigarette. or the time when people's speech become buzz or crowd become stream. that is the time you touch the organic side of the inorganic or the inorganic side of the organic. that is, the time you touch the reciprocal of the world of your understanding.
melancholy is like air, at most of the time calm and undetectable, but soon blows softly that caresses your sensation or fiercely that makes you faint. on one hand melancholy is beauty for within that blink of time you feel as if you see the true side (naked side) of the world, but on the other, melancholy is insecure for the unfamiliarity pales out your conception of the world without the slightest insistence to replace it. this is the time you sense a drop in gravity (the profound feeling of melancholy). but before long you would grab hold of your rationality and melancholy recedes.
depression is the storm of melancholy. in melancholy (the world in which every conception is in reciprocal), every entity is deprived of its preoccupied (presumed) values. at this time, the world in your eyes is constituted of all the inessential that back in time were disguised in cliched values. here, the depression become a contest against the cliched world of values. a contest against raison d'etre.
and here comes the nobleness of depression. nobleness is the recognition of an entity at the juxtaposition of the world, instead of being a part of it. in depression, the protagonist makes himself an antithesis against the world (of inessential). the conception of the world is relegated to 'a petty collection of phenomena'.
just like the people who are fear of height. the vertigo does not come from the fear of falling, but the suffocating struggle between the inner driving force (desire) to fall and the fear of death. depression is no different. it is the struggle between the comfortable value model and the mesmerizing adventure to destruction. depression is femme fatale.
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| on love and relationship:
love is love, relationship is something less. and please dont highlight this.
on christmas:
http://tw.youtube.com/watch?v=439nOBEn2_g
on architecture:
the stupidity of 'every thing seems so ordinary' versus 'the stupidity of every thing' seems so ordinary.
on friends:
acquaintances, to be precise.
on some of those around you:
it feels like, my knowing you is as much as your not knowing me.
on 'i dont give a shit to blah blah blah':
this is quite precise, for you dont quite swear on events/people that you ignore, that is, events/people that cant draw any of your emotional response, that is, events/people to what/whom you dont give a shit.
on architecture again:
love is love, relationship is something less. same here.
on winter:
winter is clear brain, damien rice, books, nights, orion,(/ and) nostalgia, keep quiet.
on bullshit:
what do you think?(/.)
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| hey!
first breeze of the year. oh so lovely. no fuzzy head.
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